1. The weather. No, that’s wrong
2. Summer vacation is just around…no it’s not.
3. You can start wearing…wait. No you can’t.
4. Valentine’s Day was happy. If you were already happy.
5. It’s two days shorter than the other months. But not this year.
A New York Times article suggested that John McCain had a sexual relationship with a female lobbyist. An indignant McCain responded, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman... Okay, let me rephrase that.
"The Teamsters are backing Obama. Look for this development to be reflected in Obama's new slogan: The Teamsters Are Backing Me. You Got A Problem With That? Yeah, I Didn't Think So.
A Navy missile has shot down a failing U.S. spy satellite, marking the first time in years that military officials have been able to say, "We meant to do that" and mean it.
Oil prices are up again near $100 per barrel. Senior oil executives are saying, “mwaa, aa, aa, aaaa!!” while rubbing their cold, bony hands together.
Florida schools are only now officially allowed to use the word “evolution.” Even the creationists are happy about this because it makes it way easier than saying, “we deny that dinosaur monkey can hail a cab now changey thing.”
A magnitude 6.0 earthquake hit Nevada this morning, but the damage was not wide-spread because when shock waves got to Vegas, they stayed in Vegas.
Chinese officials are using algae-munching fish to clean up one of that nation's most polluted lakes. The fish are especially effective because after eating, they're always hungry again an hour later.
St. Patrick’s Day is causing a dilemma for Catholics this year because it falls during Holy Week. Church officials are recommending their standard approach of party/feel guilty, party/feel guilty.
So it's probably about fighting, cheating, and anger.Lindsay Lohan's mom assures us that her daughter’s nude photo shoot recreating a famous session by Marilyn Monroe was a "tasteful and artistic honor to the late icon, especially her boobs".
I got a chuckle . . . hopefully you do ;)
Sometimes the best thing in life, can be a chuckle
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